When the going gets tough..

Some get tougher,

Some give up,

Some hate it

And some are grateful…


Like me
Because it made me rethink my priorities


And pushed me into taking a decision which I would have kept pushing away for tomorrow

Yeah. It’s not easy admitting that I am not supermom.
That I need to drop a ball or two, to be able to keep dribbling, bouncing, juggling the others
I am taking a break from work.

And instead of feeling euphoric, I am scared.
Will I be able to do something useful?
What if it doesn’t work out?

Will I be able to get back to what I was doing?
What if…

Well things might not work out
But, as the cliche says, I’ll be glad to have tried my best

And maybe, they do work out;
And I’ll be grateful for these days..

...The blog was one of the first balls to get dropped, will it bounce back?

Going uphill and back in time...

After my enforced writing spree, I am off on a break again.


 This time it is a vacation. We are off to the land of Momos and Lamas. Will share the experience when I am back

We are also going to Kolkata, my summer home, for all the memorable, growing-up years.

It’s a city I have avoided for almost a decade-because for me, it was my grandparents’ home. Now they are no more, and even that home is not there anymore. I just didn’t feel like going back to the changed city.

Yet there was a lot to go back for. A big part of the family, who’ve always been a part of me. A bit of the heritage our children need to know of course, a whole lot of memories---the rolls and mogali porota at gariahat, the tram-n-metro rides to esplanade, shopping for junk jewellery in new market, alu-dom at the lake, spicy chinese in Tangra, and our all-night aadda sessions.

Can we go back in time to all of those?
I know we can’t.

I just hope we are able to build new bond and shore up new memories to bring back with us.

Wishing everyone a great time ahead.

My Mom and me

The galaxy changes when you become a mom, doesn’t it? It starts revolving around a new center.

The realization hit me a long time ago when I was going to the hospital for a c-section. Every time I had been seriously sick before that, I had needed my mother. Yes. Even as a rebellious teenager, and independent adult, whatever…

This was the first instance when I was insistent that Mom should stay at home with Elena. Just so that my daughter can see Nani when she wakes up and know that all is well with the world.

Over the years, as life became more about taking care of others, I needed my mother even less. To the extent that this time when I had to get admitted for an emergency op, she was one person I didn’t inform at all. She would not have been able to do anything from so many miles away, and have got more stressed because of it.

But I still missed her…

One Night in a Hospital..

..and you realize how much you have to be grateful for.

You realize that beyond a point your wealth, your education, your contacts, your smartness (or the lack of any of these), just doesn’t matter. Only the skill of your doctor does. Pray for her.

You are wiser. The next time you feel a niggle, you’ll check out immediately with your friendly GP, rather than waiting till there is no option but the XYZ certified, swanky, multi-specialty hospital.

You see a live demo of the value of medical insurance. You need to stay in the floral-disinfectant smelling bed, eat “healthy” food, and wear a striped uniform for two days for what might have taken a few hours in the OPD.

You are so much better at playing sudoko on the phone that you can even beat your kids at it.

You pray. Specially if the bright red door painted “FIRE EXIT” in big bold letters has a shiny, big, padlock on it!

Elena's world

What do you do when you are frustrated?


As a mother of a ten-year old who already behaves like a teenager, I tried to convince Elena that there are ways to channelize your frustration. Creating a different world with your words is just one such way.


Does it work?


Please check out http://elenawrites.wordpress.com/ where she does it and share your suggestions..

In Absentia

It's been so long..


That I found the time and space and the mood and the keyboard all together...


I've missed blogging. But there was almost something else to do. 


And then the time was wrong. I even wrote a post, only to delete it in fifteen minutes because it was just a reflection of rocky times. Not something I would like to keep as a permanent reminder of these times.


So I just decided to wait till things are better and start all over again.


And when will that be?
Let's just wait and see!

What women really want

Battling the peak-hour Bangalore traffic in the rains I disconnect a call offering a free for life, platinum card. Then there is a huge billboard announcing something about diamonds and women’s wish lists.

At that moment, I just wish I had the time to make my breakfast.

I wish someone would make a microwave that could run on a car battery.

It wouldn’t take too much improvisation to rig up a conferencing system in the car would it? We could just finish with the meetings on the way and get straight to work.

Oh and while we are on the wishlist..a toggle to shrink the sides of the car by just a few inches so that I could squeeze by these competing BMTC buses would be such a welcome innovation. Nothing James Bond about it surely?

and just one thing more: a distance monitor to see what the kids were upto while the light turns red for the third time and I move ahead by exactly seven inches.  Those people had it even during the Mahabharta…

Hey anyone knows how to get in touch with Mr. Phungshook Wangdu?

Since we moved years ago to branded, ground Atta we don’t need that Atta chacki anymore-but something which churns out Paranthas as we juggle the clutch/accelerator would be such a blessing.

Another wish: A calorie burner/vitual treadmill that churns as I drive. 

All the marketing magicians who keep insisting on selling ULIPs and Credit Services, could you please sell me these instead?

I need them more than diamonds…and so do many other women.

Vote for me

At:

http://avantgardebloggies.wordpress.com/2010/03/21/best-consumer-rights-post-2/

http://avantgardebloggies.wordpress.com/2010/03/21/most-humorous-post-2/

That is, if you liked the post...

For me I already won the day, when I started this great adventure, started sharing my stories, found so many wonderful people along the way and discovered a world where we could just write it out....

Thank you for voting for me

But more than that, thank you for travelling with me, for egging me on and being with me as my blog celebrates it's first birthday.

The Best Birthday Gift Ever

That was what Elena said when we gave her the watch with its entire set of interchangeable straps, dial etc

That got outvoted when Mami sent both girls gift vouchers for the Oxford bookstore.

I too loved the idea because it meant we could delay buying the books till the exams were over.  (Well, I still can’t work/sleep with an unread book at hand so couldn’t expect that from them in any way.)

The exams done with, we finally made the trip and I could see optimization at its best:

Mom what is 65+65?

What if I take another book for Rs 65? How much is left over from 250?

Why don’t you take a St. Clares’ instead of all Secret Sevens?

Oh but I’ll be able to buy only two of them. And will not get anything for the remaining 30 bucks.

(Being Loverna-I obviously don’t offer to pay up the balance)

Oh where did Aurora go?

We found her tucked away between two bookshelves: I finished two fairy stories. I want to read another one.

Mamma, can you please select the books for me?

I shortlist some really fancy collections:

Mamma they are all tooo expensive...

(Can you believe that? So that’s what happens when they spend out of their own kitty!!)

Ok, if you are buying them for us we'll take these two, but they will not be counted. Ok?

Yeah. Ok.

So call me a weak Loverna, but I really couldn’t resist buying some non-counted books for them before I went around “just looking” for some good deals..

We spent just a little more than two hours: Selecting, rejecting, balancing, prioritizing…till we were all finally satisfied.

So what if I ended up spending four times what the vouchers were worth?

It was still the best gift, because it gave me a chance to spend an entire evening with them and with books. To watch them select what they wanted, give up what they could not get, take decisions, and learn a far more important lesson.

For them, it was the best because as Aurora said it, it gave them choice..

My daughter and my best friend

Elena grew up as my best friend.

She looks like me and even thinks, talk and reacts like me.

And she hates me.

She proclaims this at least 10 times in a day.

She hates me because I refuse to let her change her school bag for the fourth time in this month.

She hates me because I refused to let her go swimming when I am not at home.

She hates me because she has to take my permission at times, while I don’t need to take hers.

She hates me when I don’t let her use lipstick, but I do so myself.

She hates me when I do “personal work” (work which is not directly related to them or the household).

She also hates me when I am around too much.

In fact, if I start compiling all the reasons, it will go on till next week. And the conclusion will remain the same.

Is it because I am such a dragon/ogreee? Or because she is of “that” age? Or both?

Or because, as our Grand Referee says, Elena and I are just so similar in the way we think, talk, react….

There are times when she does stop treating me like a friend, and comes looking for a mother. I see my baby in her and we are both glad to find each other.

And then we go back to being “best friends” again.

Sometimes, I prefer her being only a daughter. Sometimes, I am not so sure….

An old conversation

Bits of a conversation long ago, which lingers on, and feels so real now:

I was taking a couple of years off employment, waiting for my babies (four and one year olds) to grow a little more, before I could resume my career…

I could not understand why a woman who had worked all along, juggling home, bringing up two kids, building  a great career, would need to quit because she could not manage anymore..

Her sons were fifteen and twelve, independent, self-sufficient, and yet…

“My children need me emotionally NOW” she explained.

“They have out-grown nannies and day-cares. I cannot control their phone-calls, internet time, TV habits through my phone calls any more. I need time to be there now or their whole education and career is at stake.”

Oh, but aren’t kids supposed to be responsible enough to look out for themselves by that age? I had wondered all those years ago. 

I grew up fine with an office-going mother. So many children do.

And being with them all the time is no guarantee that they will not stray.

But now that my children are reaching there, I can empathize with her so well.

Coming Back

It’s been so long..

..that I had the time to write,

..the space to think,

..the energy to key in a few words,

..the enthusiasm to spin the words,

..the will to make the effort,

So trying hard to get back-yet again and I start with again with saying a big Thank You to those of you who are still with me in my travails and tales…

Time out

Right now I am at moving in overdrive-the moments are whizzing by before I can capture them...

Struggling to do too many things...
Balancing, prioritizing, stumbling and yet loving every moment.

A friend congratulated me on completing 10 years of motherhood.


I wrote back clarifying that it actually 10+7=17 years.


No, she wrote, it's 17*365*24*60*60 seconds. Each second you are a mother.

It is a lifetime.
It is eternity.

And it is a roller-coaster!