Mom Alone

Growing up is such a pain.

Especially when you have to do it when you think you are old enough not to do it anymore.

Leaving children at home and travelling for work is what Moms and Dads need to do all the time. And I had managed not to do all this time-it was a record.

Was-past tense

This one time-I am doing it. Not that I had run out of valid reasons, but this once I felt I could leave, knowing that they would be able to manage.

I am the one not able to ‘manage’.  Offering bubble-gum to a stranger as the flight takes off, not able to launch into my spiel about the history and geography of the place I am travelling to,  talking to my family only through the screen-not able to touch, feel, poke or tickle …………..it is a whole lot of growing up.

Being the one staying back with the kids, managing the home-work-kids-and everything else issues, this once I feel that the one going away has it worse.

Do I have so much more to learn? 

An old conversation

Bits of a conversation long ago, which lingers on, and feels so real now:

I was taking a couple of years off employment, waiting for my babies (four and one year olds) to grow a little more, before I could resume my career…

I could not understand why a woman who had worked all along, juggling home, bringing up two kids, building  a great career, would need to quit because she could not manage anymore..

Her sons were fifteen and twelve, independent, self-sufficient, and yet…

“My children need me emotionally NOW” she explained.

“They have out-grown nannies and day-cares. I cannot control their phone-calls, internet time, TV habits through my phone calls any more. I need time to be there now or their whole education and career is at stake.”

Oh, but aren’t kids supposed to be responsible enough to look out for themselves by that age? I had wondered all those years ago. 

I grew up fine with an office-going mother. So many children do.

And being with them all the time is no guarantee that they will not stray.

But now that my children are reaching there, I can empathize with her so well.