Fly High my birdie.

As you get ready to fly on your own, I want you to know the real answer which I never gave to all those questions on: Why are you sending your daughter to a boarding school?

It’s not because:

I am too busy with my jobs and want to hive-off the responsibility 

(you know how I love to irritate you all the time!!)

Or because it is the latest fad 

(Along with Smart-Phones and FB, I hate all the latest fads related to soon-to-be-teen girls)

Or because you are not ‘doing well in school’ 

(I do admit, here in writing, that I am proud or all your prizes, and your performance in the Choir, and Kathak, and badminton, and your painting too..)

Or because you are giving me any “trouble” 

(I will miss arguing with a worthwhile partner)

Or because we do not have decent schools in our city

(Yes, your school is a Great one)

I am just letting go, so that you have more horizons to explore, more opportunities to grow, to learn, to flower and to bloom.

I am letting you go even though I'll miss you every moment, because you will find a whole new world.

I am letting go because I love you too much to keep you close, but confined.

Your wings are now ready for the sky.

Fly my baby.

Don’t look down for me,

Because, I’ll be right there with you..

Post to myself

This looks like just another New Year resolution.


This year (maybe I need to specify 2012) I resolve(d) to write regularly. Also to be specified that since I never stopped posting in my head that I also intent(ed) and to add those posts on my blog.


January is almost over.


But in a desperate attempt at not giving up, I did reach this point of actually writing something non-work on the laptop. I so want to continue and write-because I really miss it all: the joy of sharing my crazy world with all; the support I got from friends old and new, the thrill of finding new ideas, making new friends; and the awesome feeling of learning from so many different experiences of wonderful people around.


The interaction is what I miss a lot. But what I also miss is the solace I find in putting down my thoughts in words. Because when I do, all the craziness begins to make some kind of sense, the frustrations begin to sound almost funny, the darkness actually seem to highlight the slivers of silver, and the mundane actually starts becoming a memory to cherish.


Let me try once more!

My daughter and my best friend

Elena grew up as my best friend.

She looks like me and even thinks, talk and reacts like me.

And she hates me.

She proclaims this at least 10 times in a day.

She hates me because I refuse to let her change her school bag for the fourth time in this month.

She hates me because I refused to let her go swimming when I am not at home.

She hates me because she has to take my permission at times, while I don’t need to take hers.

She hates me when I don’t let her use lipstick, but I do so myself.

She hates me when I do “personal work” (work which is not directly related to them or the household).

She also hates me when I am around too much.

In fact, if I start compiling all the reasons, it will go on till next week. And the conclusion will remain the same.

Is it because I am such a dragon/ogreee? Or because she is of “that” age? Or both?

Or because, as our Grand Referee says, Elena and I are just so similar in the way we think, talk, react….

There are times when she does stop treating me like a friend, and comes looking for a mother. I see my baby in her and we are both glad to find each other.

And then we go back to being “best friends” again.

Sometimes, I prefer her being only a daughter. Sometimes, I am not so sure….

Coming Back

It’s been so long..

..that I had the time to write,

..the space to think,

..the energy to key in a few words,

..the enthusiasm to spin the words,

..the will to make the effort,

So trying hard to get back-yet again and I start with again with saying a big Thank You to those of you who are still with me in my travails and tales…

Time out

Right now I am at moving in overdrive-the moments are whizzing by before I can capture them...

Struggling to do too many things...
Balancing, prioritizing, stumbling and yet loving every moment.

A friend congratulated me on completing 10 years of motherhood.


I wrote back clarifying that it actually 10+7=17 years.


No, she wrote, it's 17*365*24*60*60 seconds. Each second you are a mother.

It is a lifetime.
It is eternity.

And it is a roller-coaster!

One to Mom to another

Me, the office-going mom:

I try so hard to be there for them and yet she fell so badly, and I was not there..

My friend, the stay-at-home mom:

Well, I was standing right next to my son; he still slipped and broke his arm…

Guess we can only do so much.

Birthday update

Did the previous post on Birthdays make it seem like they are right there?

It always feels like that-right after one set of Birthdays is over. I keep a lid on all wish-lists and planning till January and then it is unstoppable.

The update:

Elena's birthday is in on 16th February and she is having a fashion show.

• I'll pull of the ramp and the music. 
• The food also (she wants the same menu as the last three B'days she attended). 
• All the gifts on her list are  beyond her age (and my budget). 
• After three trips to the market, we are yet to agree on any of the options for 'return gifts'. 
• The guest list is into it's third revision and all other details of the party are yet to be worked out.
  
  
• Yes but the draft for invitations is ready
  
  
• Oh-And she needs a dress to go with shocking pink leather boots.

Aurora's birthday is just five days after that. Since her birth was a planned C-section we even had the option of having both birthdays on the same date. Mushy logic overlooked all practicalities and we decided both of them deserve their own special day.

And so, like each year, there is another list coming along...

This Mom has her day

I had to pick Aurora from a birthday party.

She took one look at me and forgot the excitement of showing me her return gift: Mamma you are wearing my earrings again! Last time you wore them to office and broke one..

Well, I didn't have much time to get ready and her stuff was scattered all over my dressing table-including earrings in the exact shade of pink as my top, so of course I borrowed it.

What’s a pair of earrings between a mother and her daughter?

Remember all the lipsticks you broke painting your face, including my favorite one which my best friend had given me, right upto the day we got a carpenter fit locks on my cosmetics shelf?

And all those “sticker bindis” collected from across cities which you stuck all over your forehead, all at the same time?

And the "heels" you broke while practicing to walk on them?

The “zari” dupatta you borrowed for dancing on the bed and returned with a big vertical slit?

The mascara you used to play “ghost”?

I may have to wait for some more time before I can borrow your bracelets and stilettos, but surely I can use a handbag if it matches my dress, or nail-paint, or a beaded necklace, or..

Swine flu paranoia

Ten years of driving two wheelers of every shape and size and I never wore a helmet, because I liked the feel of wind through my hair!

Yes all logic and traffic regulations didn’t make sense; people die any way, don’t they? And so many of them still live anyway!

Today I am really scared. I’ll do anything to keep my family safe.

Yes this supposed to be just another version of the flu we all keep having and getting over, but I never heard of people dying from cold before.

The casualty rate is a bare .01percent-But isn’t that just statistics? That one from the entire population might be the entire world for someone.

My kids’ school declared a week’s holiday after a student tested positive.

How do I know if it is safe to send them now? How many more could be infected or carriers? They could be travelling in the same stuffy van, sitting in the same classroom, playing together, eating together…

Should I insist on their wearing masks all day? But I know those won’t last a second after the van is out of sight.

Should I keep them at home?

I know I am being paranoid, but I can't help it.

Safety has somehow taken on a completely different dimension for me.