Inconvenient Truths

The awkward questions.

My younger kid is always full for them, for starters:
What is S**?

Me trying to be correct without being candid:
It means-Male or Female, Boy or Girl

My elder daughter, an old soul who knew what made adults uncomfortable and never asked us any of these questions, giggled:
Mamma she wants to know the other meaning, the one which people do……..

I gasped: And just what is that?

I had to confirm what she knew, she’s just turned nine.

Elena: Oh Mamma, of course you know, all parents do….
and she refused to go into explanations

Shaken and determined to continue when Aurora was not around, I change the subject, for the moment.

Princess Aurora, obviously did not stop there.

Another day at the dining table:

Aurora: I will not force my children to eat Sambar.

I at my most formidable: That’s a long time away, please finish yours.

Aurora, determined to change the subject: Why is it a long time away?

I refuse to be distracted: Please take a spoonful, your mouth is empty

Aurora: A five year old girl can get pregnant, you know.

Me finally shocked into forgetting the Sambar: Of course not!!!!!!!! Who told you that?

Aurora putting down her spoon relieved at having Mom on a safer topic:

Oh just some friends, told me that. But I guess they were just fooling me.

Warming on to her subject and discretely pushing her food a little further off

I didn’t believe them and told them you have to be grown up and married to get pregnant
she continues righteously…

A smothered giggle, from my ninety (oops nine) year old…

Trying to keep her parents speechless long enough to flee, the princess climbs down her chair and continues:

But then that means Maami would be pregnant now…

The Ninety (no way can she be nine) year old has had enough:

Oh come on, you can just take Ipill and not get pregnant.
Mamma, this girl really doesn’t know anything!!!!

//I swear I have read a lot of on how to explain facts to your kids, and I was all ready to do it when they entered their teens. But now??

Phew!!

I am not sure what I find more unnerving-Aurora’s questions or Elena’s answers//

Pehla Nasha...........

My elder daughter had her first crush when she was five.While she was lost in her dreams, I was the one having nightmares.

Loverna swung into action mode: I made sure she played with other kids, all other kids but “him”. Enrolled her in a different summer camp. Tried to convince her to take a window seat instead of sitting with “him”…..

Linda Goodman (yeah I read her enough times to remember even now) does not describe how having a Taurean for a mother makes the little ones, no matter when they are born, ten times more bull-headed. The Aquarian, with her head in the clouds, dug in her heels-----------deep

Logic met logic:

• Of course we can get married to friends. Mama just did it.
• Ok, if Srivastava is difficult to spell, I’ll use my own surname. My ma’am also does.

Well……..

Before she went on to deciding the names for her kids, Time, the greatest force since Mahabharta, took over. We moved to Bangalore. She made lots of new friends and became so involved in each day that future planning was relegated to the future.

A few months later, as I was dialing a number -Elena tugged urgently “Are you speaking to Raakhee Aunty?” Yes I was. “Please don’t ask me to speak to Kush”

L: Oh Wow!!!!!I mean Why?

E: Because I don’t know what to say to him.
It continued upto…….I don’t even remember how he looks. She was so embarrassed about the whole episode that it was never to be mentioned again.

I could sleep peacefully again.

Doosra nasha?????

Lately I’ve noticed Elena and her friend giggling and paddling only in one quarter of the pool instead of racing across the length like always. Me being paranoid or is it just coincidence that that area of the pool is in direct line of sight of a particular balcony? More coincidence-this happens only when that particular balcony is occupied by a particular kid.

Que Sara Sara? Yes, but I am still watching. That’s what Loverna is meant to do.

Pehla Nashaa-Part 2

With kids spaced out the way mine are, I was just out of the teething-weaning-potty training cycle with the first one, when it started all over with the second one.

The circle of life played out the same way in the matters of the heart.

Elena reached the stage when she wanted to invite only girls for her birthday party. Aurora came home from the park and declared: “I am going to marry Siddhant”

The second time, all your responses get jaded: “Ok. Finish your milk and your homework and then we’ll talk about it.”

Guess that was the right thing to do, because after her homework she was more keen on watching TV than thinking about Sid. She did remember it next day and it was the hottest news in the apartment play area and the school bus.

A week (or was it five days?) later: Mamma, I’ve cancelled Siddhant!

L: (Wow again!) Why?

A: He didn’t push the swing for me. He is always running off to play cricket!

For the Mom’s who worry that the next generation would start dating the moment they are out of cradles-there is great hope. They’ll be back much faster!

No! Not the Doosra again

A: Can we get married to someone who is much older than us?

L:****** What----Why?

A: Sixth class? (She was in Prep)
But I like him more than any of the silly boys (I guess she meant Sid). He always pushes the swing for me, helps me get the cycle up the steps, and buys me a boomer.
(Pays attention, spends time and money too…didn’t I tell you the next generation has better fundas!)

L: Let’s finish the milk and homework ………………..I hope it works this time too!