Running out of steam

The house is so clean today. Squeaky clean and perfectly quiet. It is so empty.

The elder kid left for college. The younger one is already at school. And I have a whole lot of space to myself.

I’d live with the mess and the cacophony any day!

Since I do not have a choice, I read myself the ‘face the facts-be glad the kids are doing great’ spiel all over again. It doesn’t work, but there is nothing else I can do about the situation. I always tell the kids that when they are feeling low, they should give themselves the advice they would give another friend in that situation. That would bring out the wisest words.

I tried it on myself.

Took out the pending books I have been planning to read for a long time and arranged them by the bedside. Plugged in my laptop to write posts in advance for the rest of the week. Make a list of 15 things I need to do for myself but couldn’t get the time for. Yet I felt so tired that I didn’t feel like moving an inch. That’s the first sign of depression for me-the signal that I should be talking to friends. And I didn’t feel like talking.

For the last few weeks, I had no time, but was still posting enthusiastically in the few minutes I would manage to steal. Today I had a few hours, but just did not feel like writing.

I got a message from my dentist asking me to come for my overdue check-up. Even she knew that I would finally make the time for it. I made myself go and felt so much better after a routine check-up and a longish chat.

Isn’t it amazing how much a forced outing and an interaction can change? Yeah even a trip to the dentist’s!

And that made today’s post possible!