The Female child

After Swaram's post I just could not help sharing my experience.

We longed for a daughter. Yes I was ready to bring up a son with the same love and affection-but we still wished…

I went for the regular ultrasounds to a family friend who never confirmed if it was a girl and so I had doubts. And the last thing I remember whispering immediately after the baby, as everything passed into a blur was…Tell him it’s a girl!


The hospital staff was full of sympathy as they slinked away to other patients to collect Baksheesh: Oh, it’s ok. This is just your first child…

Uncle who did my ultrasounds: Beta, I don’t tell anyone if it’s a girl. Because if anything happens it’ll be on my conscience….(I knew what he was trying to say, but still could not believe “normal” people would do what he was implying)

People who did not matter: Chalo theek hai. Lakshmi aayee hai. Aglee baar........(err Congratulations, but better luck next time!)

My family was furious. How dare anyone imply that she was not welcome? I was so thrilled with my baby that I seriously didn’t mind the opinionated, ignorant, deprived fools for their conditioning.

And then I did it again!

Some “well-wishers” were so over-whelmed with sympathy that they just couldn’t keep it to themselves: You didn’t get a scan even though you already have a daughter?

No matter how futile arguing with fools is, I could not let that one go. These were prosperous, well qualified people. What do they think having sons will accomplish? All for the big deal of another generation with the same surname? And the hope of the son sharing his dowry when he reaches an auctionable age?

For that they are ready to kill a baby before she is born.

I am so sad that there are so many of them still around.

I am so happy I have my baby girls to cherish!


  1. And I'm happy for you! You are a great woman indeed. May God bless you!

  2. Hypermom- Hugs!!!! We were the same - we longed for a daughter too :) And since I had my scan here - they told me and I was on cloud nine :) The ultrasound technician - he was an African-British, asked me - You guys want boys normally, don't you?! Apparently some parts of Britain they don't tell Asians the sex of the child because sex selective abortions had got common! And mu husband had people asking him - 'Tum khush to ho na'! Nobody asked me- they were too scared of a tongue lashing - my yearning for a girl was well known :) But the attitude is pathetic! How can people be so blinkered! It beats me!

  3. I really can't understand this paradox, usually daughters are more close to and pampered by fathers... so they should long for girl child but in India male child is like some god....

    actually I think deep down there must be some problem with the women community for this chauvinism... as women are the enemies of themselves... I've seen this a lot...

    However, I may be wrong I'm also just in my early 20s so can't generalize...

    But FYI I wish I've a girl child

  4. *Hugs*

    I too have a daughter and i just LOVE her. Would never even think of otherwise! :) And my hubby is crazy after his princess!!! :)

  5. This is ridiculous na :( When we thought times hv changed, it hurts to c there are so many ppl like this yet! We hv always wished for a daughter and now I want to have one and cut the wagging tongue!

  6. Ramit: Isn't it just natural to love your child? What I can't understand is how people manage not to do so?

    Smitha: I guess we are the lucky ones who can appreciate all the joy and fun a daughter brings and got to enjoy it too.

    Ashish: You may be in your early 20s but I really appreciate your wisdom. I wish some older folks would learn.

    And you are very correct in saying that it is women who are their worst enemies. Men might have been the one who laid down the law-but it has been generations of women who accepted and perpetuated it with evil relish.

    Women can change some part of it (if not all) if they want to.

    Sakhi: Thanks!
    Yes we are blessed with our daughters. I just wish more babies were loved like this.

    Swaram: I also feel strongly against people like those. But aren't there a handful of people like us who know the value of a baby girl. May our tribe grow!

    I wish you too are blessed with one. And you can always cherish your daughter-in-laws too when the time comes!

  7. Hypermom, just saw that u hv nominated me for two categories in the AG awards :) Thank u so so much .. pleasant surprise :)
    Gud luck to u too :)

  8. Swaram-that is because when I read the list-urs was the name uppermost in my mind. U really deserve these. Hope you win!

  9. hey..just stumbled on ur blog :)
    u knw..
    i am the second girl child in the family..
    i was born in rajasthan..
    and though my parents were extremely happy that I was born, the neighbours and "well wishers" were not really. And incidentally, in that entire hospital I was the only girl new born. Everybody came consoling my mom n dad while they were happpppppppppppy being with me...

    Strange, really!!!!!

  10. Thanks for visiting.

    My elder daughter was born in Jaipur. So maybe we could make excuses for the attitude-one of the backward states etc

    My younger daughter was born in Delhi-same story.

    Maybe it happens with daughters all over the country. What we can do is welcome them, let them know they are precious-and just ignore the rest. They are not worth responding to.


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