Back

A special thank you to the few special people who are still reading my blog.

I had given up.

On one front, I had a tag around my neck, announcing I was a part of the rat race again-bringing with it the usual office drama, driving through Bangalore traffic, and coming back to kids' homework and class tests.
And on the other, it was the bindis and bangles, reminding me that it was "adjustment" time again.

But then there's nothing wrong with a bindi or bangles, isn't it? Just a tiny adjustment to keep the family happy?

Oh, but they are still unhappy over so many other things.
So I make few more little adjustments.
Don't wear what I want to.
Eat what I don't want to. Don't eat when I need to...
But then what's a little bit of acidity or some headaches when it comes to the family's happiness?

The family was however unhappy, because I slept when I wanted to.

How do I find the will or the space to think, feel, talk or write?
By counting the blessings that I have it so much better than so many other women?
After all, as so many other women rationalize, it is the family's happiness that matters. Doesn't it?

Yeah, but I fail to ensure that, once again!
And just got back to being myself.

Comments

  1. Hugs, Hyoermom! Glad that you are back!

    As for adjustments - my experience is that the more you 'adjust' the higher the expectations go. And beyond a point, it is making us unhappy, then can we really make others happy? Hugs again! And glad that you got back to being yourself! I don't think anything else works!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hugs HM and so happy to see u bk.
    Being ourselves is what works out best I think and glad u got back to it :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Maybe you should consider asking for you life back. Maybe, just maybe. I agree with Smitha, the more you adjust, the higher the expectations go. What's wrong with wearing what you're comfortable in? When I read that someone is being forced to wear bangles and bindis, I feel something is amiss in that family.

    I do not mean to sound rude, but maybe you should consider living your own life your way for once. Kids will always be kids, they will always have homework. Don't wait for them to get married and go off, you'd probably be too old then to enjoy what is today.

    I can only wish you luck. Keep blogging please!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Smitha, Swaram, TBG-Thanks for the support!

    It is not the dot but the attitude I am unable to "adjust" with.

    But there's so much more to celebrate in life. I am glad there's a life to get back to.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I dont know what to say .. i guess there comes a time when you have had enough .. and that is bad ..

    One shud get time to do what they want once in a while you know the ME QUALITY time , i guess i can say as i live so far away from family and all that i can say it ...


    and i know one thing there will always be someone who is not happy with us :)

    glad you are back though all the best :)


    Bikram's

    ReplyDelete
  6. HM, the fact is you cant please or make everyone happy at the same time. If you make one section happy there will always be another section which may be not be so. Then they draw out their expectations and you work on making them happy. And this becomes a never ending process. Like Smitha rightly pointed out the more you adjust for others the higher their expectations go. Its always best to do what makes you happy and I'm glad you're back to being yourself :)

    Hugs! Wonderful to read you again :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hmmm.. i was also in similar situation. we cannot make everyone happy. some adjustments are needed i agree,but if it makes us lose our small small happiness ,then thats the threshold. Sleep till whatever time we want should not be something we dream for. :(

    ReplyDelete
  8. Bikramjit
    My apologies for the late response. Am not completely "back" as I claimed. Always takes me a long time after a break. I'm just gald for all the support!

    Deeps
    Sorry gain for the delay in replying. Yes, i began the wrong way, giving in so much and realizing it too late. Hope I can teach my daughters to be wiser

    newbie
    Thanks for visiting and my apologies for the delay. Yes we all start with adjustments, but then we make some, we shouldn't, and it's then that the problems start. Can't say I am good at them even now :)

    ReplyDelete

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