Letting them be

....what they want to be.

That’s what we should be doing. Teaching them to fly and then letting them free to go explore, build their own nests, and fight their own battles.

But as my chicks are trying out their new wings I am not sure how well I’ll be able to do that.

My 10-year-old says that she shouldn’t be spending too much time on her studies because anyway she is going to be a fashion designer, or an actress, or a dancer. (The logic-they are fun, you get famous and you don’t need to study).

I cannot find the words to cheer her on-so I resort to my Loverna-like manipulations. Introduce her to more interesting ways to study, tweak her selection of books at the library, and try to get her to explore more options by enrolling her in a Robotics class.

This, she enjoyed. It was not like regular school. They got to watch videos, work hands on with building and programming robots, and as a final workshop, even design and build a robot of their own choice.

They called the parents to see the final presentations and it was really impressive. There was robot for picking up debris. One racing car robot which had sensors to stop it from crashing. There was one which had a pencil attached to follow simple writing instructions (has the potential to be developed into a homework tool).

And here is Elena’s robot.

She is a ballerina, designed to take perfect pirouettes.

Well, technology is also fun, but she can get distracted only to this extent.  

Moms have all the fun

There are two sides to every story. As I kept thinking I had the toughest job in the world, this was my daughter’s statement.

And as usual she had a long list of reasons…

You keep getting my hair cut short and grow yours because you wanted to be the prettiest in the house.

We have to wear the same uniform everyday and you can wear all pretty clothes to office. You can use nail polish and even lipstick in office! And your office doesn’t give any homework. (She really loved my office)

We have to study in school and also do homework. We even have exams. And your work means using the laptop and going online. (How can that be work?)

You stop going to office but we have to go to school every day. (That hurts her most-just the thought of mom waving her off to school and being free to watch TV).

What brought matters to the head was me feeling too sick to eat Roti-Chicken, or to cook for myself. I made some maggi and took it to bed.

You are eating Maggi! And when I was sick I had to eat khicdi and soup!!!

Yeah kid. When I am down, feeling sorry for myself, and missing my mom, you do make me count my blessings.

Running out of Mommy skills

This is a question to all moms or rather all parents:

Do you get mad at your kids? Really angry, annoyed, pissed off enough to say Ok-Do it your way!

Or am I one of the few who cannot keep the ‘Mom hat’  on at all times and say no matter what you do or say child (or how obnoxiously you say it), I forgive you because I cannot remain angry with you?

As my daughters live up to their pre-teen (is that supposed to start at 7!!!)  identities with gusto,  we are having more frequent and serious showdowns each day. I get seriously upset when I have to juggle schedules, work crazy hours to meet my deadlines, miss out on things I wanted to do, just to ensure that they do not miss out on anything, be it be extra classes, doctors appointments, trips to the library or even a birthday party, and all they do at the end of the day is crib!

Sometimes I really question my maternal instincts. I do not have that unlimited patience and wisdom motherhood was supposed to come with.

We had another of these showdowns today as the younger went on arguing it was ok to go swimming with her cold. After the usual round of reasoning, explaining, cajoling, and debating, we fell back to our same old conclusions: THAT’S NOT FAIR and NO MORE DISCUSSIONS! (Why on earth did we have to waste an hour for reaching it when she had an exam the next day and I, as usual, had a deadline to meet??? )

Next time I’ll let her do it her way and bear the consequences…maybe she’ll learn that way. But not this time.

It’s been hours since then.

My baby could not sleep as she was racked by terrible coughing fits. I tried everything to help her, but she was just clinging to me and coughing away. After a trip to the doctor, a change in medicine, and vomiting out her dinner, she’s finally sleeping peacefully (touchwood!)

I am still awake. Watching over

Tomorrow she’ll be better. Fighting with me again, and yes, calling me the “worst mother” amongst all the friends’ mothers. And I’ll be fighting back instead of allowing her in the pool. Because no matter how angry I get, I am a mother.,,